We aren’t born with self doubt. Self doubt is a beast we meet along the road to becoming who we are. Sometimes it stops us dead in our tracks. Other times, it becomes a signpost in our journey.
When I was eighteen, I wrote my very first full-length novel.
The idea came to me in a wonderful bout of daydreaming. I imagined a unicorn, a feisty female, and an unsuspecting male. The scene unfolded into a comedic meeting of two opposing forces. And before long, a story developed involving magic, adventure, and romance.
I quickly went about writing the novel from beginning to end, finishing in roughly three months.
My friends read it, my family read it. They loved it! I was so excited to publish it and immediately become a young, famous fantasy author. Certain I was capable of anything, I sent my beloved manuscript to a publisher.
As you can probably guess, I received a rejection letter shortly after.
I was disappointed, but at the same time, relieved. In the few months I’d waited for the publisher’s response, I noticed some minor flaws in my story. With a breath of relief that I hadn’t made the mistake of springing an unpolished story upon the world, I embarked on the adventure of the dreaded rewrite.
And rewrite after rewrite followed. Just when I’d finished one rewrite, I’d improve my skills, read my manuscript again, declare it garbage, and rewrite again. And again.
This was both a blessing and a curse. With every rewrite, my story got better. But with every change I made, I started to doubt that my writing would ever be good enough.
I’d lost that magical feeling from when I was eighteen. When I thought anything was possible.
Fast forward to now. Life has changed me. Yes, my writing is so much better, but so is my ability to accept the perfection of my current moment. To accept my current self. To accept me as good enough.
I’ve been through so many challenges that have grown me as a person, a writer, and a creative force. Searching for my life purpose, trying, failing, trying again, and redirecting focus has strengthened my resolve to be a writer. A fantasy writer. Once again, I believe in the magic that I can be and do anything.
I will finish this novel. It will be published.
I can’t say I regret the decade+ that I spent doubting my work. It kept me constantly learning, always seeking to grow, and ultimately helped my novel become what it is today. I can’t regret my past, because I love my present so much. But I can use the lessons from my perceived failures to create the life I want.
And this isn’t just about me. It’s about you too. You are good enough. Your goals are possible.
All it takes is deciding what’s important, getting clear on your goals, and tapping into the magic of life. Yes, I’m one of those people. I believe in the power of intention, and creating the life of your dreams. I believe that emotional health and personal growth are the basis for success in every area of life.
Self doubt, depression, confusion, anxiety, and negativity make a poor foundation for a healthy life. Learning how to replace these things with joy, acceptance, excitement, and creative energy can make a profound difference. Often, it’s simpler than you’d think.
If you’re in a place where self doubt is holding you back from pursuing your dreams, don’t give up. Just redirect. Let self doubt be a signpost in your journey, not a stop sign. Let it signify that you are close to where you want to be. Don’t believe what it says about you, just let it guide you to your next step in growth.
It’s never too late to find the magic, whether as a rediscovery from your youth, or as the first time ever.
Follow my journey, and I’ll continue to share my own insights on how to defeat the beast of self doubt and move on to creating the life you desire.